To Kill a Mockingbird. Or Two.

Day 17: Our sanity is starting to slip.  The end is certainly near.  But whose?

Georgia is known for many things: juicy peaches, Gone With the Wind, Paula Deen, the fantastically fun FX show "Archer", and... mockingbirds!?

Come again?

That's right, Texas-- mockingbirds.  The kind Texas should be known for.  Territorial, aggressive, loud, fearless, and proud.  And wiiiide awake at two in the morning.  Every morning.  Until just before sunrise.  Like a screaming car alarm just outside your bedroom window, with a fully charged battery and a busted 'disarm' button.

Every night he taunts us, hiding in the shadows and screaming his way through the bird kingdom's top 40 chart before hitting the bottom, clearing his throat and starting all over again.

Neighbors started complaining-- shouting and spitting profanities from their porches, flashing branches with industrial grade spot lights, tossing rocks or empty barbecue bottles at anything that moved.

Something had to be done.  Someone had to end all the madness.  And that someone was Mr. Stu Miller.

A good man, Stu, full of knowledge and wisdom.  Why, I love him as though he were my own father.  *nyuck, nyuck*

And he wasted no time with putting an end to everyone's suffering.  Following a quick briefing with a few of the neighbors, a game plan was soon created. We'll call it: Operation To Kill a Mockingbird.  Or Two.

The briefing led to a hasty trip to a local Dick's Sporting Goods, where we soon discovered that Remington air rifles and mockingbirds are a match made in birdy heaven:

I wanted to take it a step further and construct a city of tannerite bird feeders in the side yard as well, but Pappaw stepped in, directing a metaphysical megaphone at my inner conscious to say, "Well, sh*t in one hand and want in another and see which one fills up first."  And I suppose the other birds, who are just as equally tormented as we, wouldn't appreciate accidentally nesting in a house made of explosives....  So just air rifles, it was.

That evening we sat in silence as we waited for the fevered bullfrogs to wind down, which usually signals the calm before the storm. Even the neighbors sat quietly upon their porches, limiting their alcohol intake for a better aim and silently willing the condemned critter to pass into view. 

And we sat.

                         And waited.

                                                 And waited.
                                    
                                                                        And two hours later...

...nothin'.  Like a man on the run, he remained hidden and silent in the shadows, as though aware of our combined forces to stop his nightly tyranny. 

The night passed and day came, and with it the mockingbirds.  They flew down in waves, chasing away wild life and screaming at pets and small children, as though outraged by their ring leader's inability to speak his mind.  They perched atop light poles and roof tops and fence posts, threatening all within range to take their best shot. 

Stu Miller didn't even hesitate.  Anyone seen those news reports lately about birds just falling from the sky?  Thousands of them just dropping from the clouds, dead on impact?  Stu did...

Day 18:  It's down to just us and the ring leader now...

He sits hidden in the shadows of a cedar tree, watching as the lights click off one by one by one, waiting for the neighborhood to sleep.  And then:

 *twitches nervously*

SO, aside from helping rid the neighborhood of most of their unwanted pests, my first month here in the Deep South has been filled with marching ducks, all happily stepping into place and directing life back into order again.  I have a job, I have new hobbies, I have a new-found respect for green beans and pork.  And I can't wait to start traveling.  Savannah, Atlanta, local events and historical hot spots, I have these places scribbled down on my "to see and share" list for future posts and updates.  So don't be a stranger.  And rest assured, I still miss my family and friends back home and think of y'all often and even hope to see some of you soon.  Keep me in your thoughts, as I keep you in mine.  -Heather-