Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Southern Pride and Prejudice

Georgia.  Day 71.

                  Hour 1,680.

                            Minute 100,800.

                                     Second 6,048,000.

                                              Two months, 9 days in and counting...

And I'm adapting well.  So many unspoken Southern rules and necessary Southern survival techniques to learn.  About driving, eating, conversing with strangers, surviving the zombie apocalypse.  (Thank you, Kristal.)

Unspoken Rule #1:  The light isn't red unless someone is looking.

Unspoken Rule #2:  All senior citizens must stop before entering any highway from an entrance ramp.  Especially entrance ramps with long merge lanes lesser, ignorant states  use for accelerating-to-speed in.

Unspoken Rule #3:  Thou shalt not refuse 'to-go' tea from restaurants.

Unspoken Rule #4:  Turning left on red is optional.

Survival Tip #1:  Avoid convenience stores on Sundays between the hours of 8p and  2a.  Quite possibly earlier and/or later pending the store's volume of beer...

Survival Tip #2:  If approached by a person dressed in leather, especially leather chaps, with POW MIA stitched across every inch of their ensemble,  and compliments your butterfly headband you recently purchased at the friendly, neighborhood Target, asking you where you got it, LIE.  Or you could be shot--or severely lectured--for not supporting your troops and veterans.  Because Target is evil.  Apparently.

Survival Tip #3:  Assume all citizens are packing heat.  Because they likely are...  Especially the children.  So mind those P's and Q's!

Zombie Apocalypse Survival Tip #1:  Read the manual.

I am absolutely loving life here.  Sure, starting over has its moments of sheer panic and random bouts of anxiety. It's easy to forget how much is involved with the ABC's of life.  There's you, A.  And your actions, B.  And your goals, C.  And between them all of life's little forgotten bullet points and numerical cause and effects directing your ABC's from one end of the alphabet to the next.

                             Ex:  A: Me
                                         a. Who I Am
                                            1. who or what motivated me to be
                                            2. who or what has created me to be
                                            3. who or what dissuades me from being
                                         b. Who I Think I Am
                                            1. who motivates me to be
                                            2. etc, etc, etc...
                                         c. Who Others Think I Am
                                            1. and so on, and so forth...

But overall I remain mostly excited to be here.  Lately I've been held prisoner by the weather, forced to keep my camera zipped safely away in its bag, my adventuring to a minimum and my stories home to friends and family work related.  It storms.  Every day.  

                                          The storms as they sweep southeast

Not that I'm complaining.  Because I love storms.  Every day.  I'm bummed to have missed out on the improved tornado sirens I single-handedly argued into existence.  Or installment...?  You're welcome, Burleson.  Venus?  Sleep easy now.  At least until the sirens blare.  Then please, PLEASE, at least sleep UNDER the bed...  Venus, Texas is barely considered a 'speck' on the map, Mother.  Any tornado determined to visit town will likely knock right on your door.  So, please do mind the siren.  I say these things because I love you...

 E-Boo is also settling in just fine.  He refuses to leave my room most days and has developed a good case of Kitty Tourette's.  Everything is "Hiss that!"  and, "Hiss you!" and, "Get the hiss out of my room!" but he cuddles when no one is looking and continues to guard my feet at night.  He also prefers the step-monster's lap when she's near and tolerates the pops' friendly pats in passing.  I guess some cats like leashes and harnesses and traveling diapers and fifteen hour road trips more than others, with E-Boo, sadly, being an other...

                  (Can I just add, this video is all my happiness right now...?)

Complaints?  I haven't many.  The local 'news' here is kind'a sad and/or embarrassing.  Watching/reading it makes me feel smart/intelligent, like Corporal Joe Bauers/Luke Wilson in "Idiocracy"   For example, in today's news one could read about--a missing monkey being sought near a Ga. research station.  And that's big news, folks.  Or maybe one would rather read about the Pope tweeting from his iPad...  Oy. I'll say it again, Oy.

And I miss Whataburger.  And Central Market.  But, on a lighter note, I finally found me some Gold Peak Tea!  And some of those Seneca Apple Chips I love so much.  So I can't really complain.

The people here laugh easily.  The neighbors remain neighborly-- even when you don't want them to be...  And despite their driving habits, Georgians HAVE to have driver's insurance.  Or they have their licenses revoked.  Unlike some people I know.  *cough* *Texans* *cough*  So, go ahead and hit me.  I dare you.  I double dog dare you.  Just keep in mind Survival Tip #3, you pesky red light runners...
Love to my friends and family back home.  Be safe and mind those tornado sirens!



Sarah said...

I miss you so much. SO, so, so, so much. I can't wait to visit. I just know we'll do so many things worthy of blogging about. Especially involving our ultimate take-over of Florida and the surrounding areas.

I love you.

Also, in closing, I bestow upon you an award. The Kreativ Blogger Award, to be exact. I feel that you deserve it. And also, I love you. You may retrieve your award on my blog. Did I mention that I miss and love you?

I did?


Henro said...

Heather, I'm glad you like it down here so far! I like the summers in the south, and some winters aren't so bad because it's 30-40 degrees one day and then 60-70 then next. It's like southern mother nature's way of saying, "Hey, yeah, remember this? Remember summer? Mmm didn't the weather feel delicious? Well, enjoy today, because it's going to be 31 degrees tomorrow. Summer tease!"
Then again, I've always been more of a Summer kind of guy than winter. Life in Las Vegas for years will do that to ya...

Bennett said...

HA, HA! Thanks, "Henro" :) As soon as I get to where I can travel more, I'm sure I'll love it. More than I already do. As for winters, I'm sure I'll be more than content with them. We had 13 inches of snow in Dallas one week and a tornado warning the next. I mean, seriously...? And I didn't know you lived in Vegas! So Henro, I take it, is the stage name? I dig.